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Imagine if Morticia Adams started taking speed, became manic, and began teaching college courses. Congratulations. You've just met Yambor.
Ask any astrophysicist what the central point of our solar system is, and you'll invariably get one answer: "The Sun."
Not in Yamborland! Nope, she is the center of her spooky universe, and every other human being is simply a mote of dust lucky enough to get caught (and GRACIOUSLY allowed to remain) in her gravitational field.
Yambor boasts that people are intimidated by the fact that she's a woman with opinions, who's not afraid to express them. A misconception on her part. Most students are terrified of her because her eyes are as dark and secret as a porcelain doll's. The kind of eyes you expect to see glaring at you, unblinking, as you writhe on a meathook in a dank basement dungeon.
Despite being omniscient, she can't be bothered to create Powerpoints, for we peons don't deserve such luxuries. Instead, she opens up Microsoft Word and types keywords in huge font, oftentimes never explaining why the word she typed was significant in any way. I have yet to determine where her test questions actually come from.
But don't worry about any of that. This class, whichever you may be taking, isn't about learning. It's about glorifying Marjorie Yambor, Golden Fashion-impaired God of the broadcasting department. Among the topics are:
-Her opinions. On everything.
-Why everyone else is an idiot for believing otherwise.
-How well can she mockingly impersonate a valley girl after it stops being remotely amusing and moves well into the "disturbing" category
-Will your lackluster project be the one that finally shatters her fragile psyche?
Listen, Yambor. I know you read these things. You at least Google your name. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINIONS. It's difficult enough to retain the critical material you include as an afterthought to how AMAZING you are. Nobody is impressed by your ability to use the thesaurus, least of all the people attempting to take your largely incoherent tests.
YOU AREN'T IMPRESSING ANYONE. You want to amaze me? Act like a normal human being for once. No, that doesn't mean falling into a gender role or becoming a stereotype. It means not creeping your students out and being proud about it.
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